Turning 25: The odds of being a woman

And, oh yes. In India. As if, we had been questioned any less on our reservations of being aged or mass acceptance of sterotyped narcissist portrayal of womanhood, constantly glaring at the mirror, urging it to tell we look younger. 


There's more than just one reason at not feeling that good about your birthday anymore.

Don't get me wrong. I love birthdays.
Of others.


No. Being an inherently positive person, I LOVE my own birthday, a whole lot at that.
Yes. Despite the college days of birthday bumps. (Man, it still hurts as I remember it.) 

I never understood the logic of


  1. physically punishing someone for being born) or
  2. the massive treats that one has to throw as everyone expects being taken out to a nice restaurant. As you smile, with eyes wide open while paying the bill, not forgetting the guest list that simply increases enroute to the restaurant, because of course you can tell no one that 'YOU are not invited.' I don't know if paying the entire canteen bill could be a safer bet because they don't sell stuff priced more than 50 bucks anyways! 
  3. you get to eat the least of your favourite birthday cake in office, if it's your own birthday. 
Yes. I believe in giving. But not on my birthday! Jeez. Wasn't it supposed to be my special day rather than 'World Giving Day' – My day of contribution?

4. What I'm not very happy about, is that you age one more year.
Something that just comes with it- free free free!!! Muft muft muft!
My mother expects me to be more mature.
To have one changeover in my personality,  making me more responsive to life than I usually am. She's hopeful and says that it happens every year.
God help us with that.


Growing up.. (Well, kinda) 



Wonder how our constant effort at evolving ourselves only become visible during birthdays and one more year of being a grown up!
I hate it as I write grown up.
That's just such a bad word. You are no longer allowed to be childish or make mistakes. You cannot behave weirdly if you wanted to. There is no more a forgiveness that you were used to.
I know I'm sounding like am a ten year old at my tenth birthday cribbing about not being a two year old anymore.
So, let me add the latest additions to the list.

You are not allowed to be single anymore!

Suddenly for your parents who got married at 29, you are the biggest burden on earth because you are 25. Yes, the same exact ones who loved you so far. Not that others getting married is something you tell them but they do have their ways.
At times, I wonder how does that one single day make all the difference?

Being a Single Girl in India @ 25

It's a curse you own because you didn't find a guy for yourself!
In India, it's a paradox of ironies.
You are frowned upon if you have a boyfriend and also if you don't.
God! Darned if you do it. Darned if you don't!
By a different set of people, of course.
Or in my case – both.

My mother asks me, why I didn't and tells me everyone tells her to tell me to find a guy for myself (or to tell her a lie that is more believable, that I've one).
Only that they all forgot the major loophole in the entire scheme of things, that, I was only supposed to be in love with an Odia Brahmin like all good kids, you know.
Not that I ever fell in love with any Non Odia also.
But I don't consider it a flaw.

It didn't happen.
I can't force myself to be in love just for the heck of it! I mean not because I'm 25 or something.
Now my mom is OK with other Brahmins.
But someone tell them, you don't get men as marriage material! Even in the whole set! Without any discrimination!

Marriage Material

Not that we are marriage material anyways.
I'm still a kid lurking at large.
Am inherently sweet and a pure person. But not every family is filmy or Ekta Kapoorish enough to just want that.
They would want you to be realisitically responsible, take care of yourself and others, manage family ties, or at times even TV serialish adarsh bahu getting up early morning and basically playing a I-know-it-all superwoman every single day without a single quality issue. Six sigma guys would be so glad!

Wannabe husbands are like permanent roommates you got to live with. Without a third one! 


But we, who have barely moved on to trying to take care of ourselves away from home always wanting to be taken care of, ready to handle a #permanent #roommate for life, who is the only other one who also shares the same bathroom,  are anything,  but READY FOR IT. 

I don't think we are even ready for a live-in. (Compatibility wise,  that is). Forget lifetime commitment,  if that bothers you. (only for the moment,  han). 
I mean think deeply. However funny it may sound, it helps when it's more than one person sharing the same thing. 

You don't know 

  1. who soaked the four year old socks in the mug or 
  2. who carelessly threw the toothpaste in the pot or 
  3. who forgot her long locks all over or 
  4. who had her lipstick stamped to your favourite pillow or 
  5. who slept on the linen with shoes on or
  6. who had all that spillage on the pot you are going to put your ass on. Yes,  now. 
No points for guessing. You even call this guessing?

Beyond all the chaos of two non grown up kids being married at 25 and 28, there are the cousins. And the uncles and aunties. And they all think and say, 'Tell her. She will find someone for herself. '
Oh yes.  That's what I'd do too if I was asked to. Because everyone our age had been in multiple relationships, whether or not our parents know it. A sterotype you have to live with if you live in 21st century. Even if you have always been single. No wonder my mom even asks me if I do have a boyfriend by now. Or had,  and didn't tell her. 

Ever had a boyfriend when you were not in love? 

I mean, as if it was that easy to be OK with someone? ?? I mean why have a boyfriend when you are not even in love? No. Peer pressure doesnt make me do things. It didn't in school and in college all are mature. I've always known what I want.

It really doesn't help if the guy only loves you. Trust me, it's not marriage we are talking about,  that the sociological experiment and leap of faith (that, the other may fall for eventually),  may help on any manner.

Coming out to your parents about the boyfriend you never had

Why would I even tell my mom when I've never been convinced about any guy in the first place?
At times, it takes me actually telling the elders, 'Oh yes, pls go ahead and search someone nice.' 

Cousins are least bothered. Maybe it helps.  Would save me some more time at being a kid.
But well I can't find someone because, guess what? I don't run a marriage bureau!

Why marriage portals don't help


Marriage portals don't help, cause there aren't that many good ones, for one to shell that much money to just see phone numbers. And even then you don't have any, in your city to meet them. And trust me, men look just something else from their photographs.

If not this way, how many men do I meet anyways?
How good am I at liking on a historical count?
My first crush was after 23 at office! Yes. That bad.
Voluntary crush, I mean. Without any influences. And not a celebrity. Who counts those!
So is my office an MNC? Yes. Technically.
How good are we at diversity in hiring?
Bad.
How much time do I have after work?
Negative.
Wow. Of course, I can find someone for myself.
If I like someone on the street(hypothetically), going and saying a

'hi...how do ya do..I want to know you' not only sounds creepy but also I would be dead for such unacceptable behavior from my family. 
But yes, I'm expected to find someone for myself and get married.
As if college relationships would have helped anyways.  Because I wonder how many of them got married to their own girlfriends. None.
So technically now if you do like someone, only to wish to get to know that someone, he is obviously taken and you then, are obviously a good person from your upbringing and won't wish to break them up.
So turning 25 is an added curse reminding you with all the pressure that getting handsome hotties is gonna be tougher if you lose your charm and youth.
Worse, you partly believe that statement somewhere. Who knows! 
And you blame me for not being that happy on my birthday!

Are you 25 and single? 


Tell me about it!! One hears sad cribbing stories of the pains and struggles of girls revealing about their love lives to their parents and seeking their permission but who speaks of us? 

Who never liked anyone enough to talk about and thanks to all those of you revealing it at last moment while they hunt for a groom, we are always looked with suspicious eyes, as if we have a boyfriend!  Someone talk about our pains! hahaha

SPOILER: A guy reads the whole thing and says,  'You are so beautiful, so talented,  intelligent,  creative,  but single? Surprising. 

Wow. Oh, boy! Can't a beautiful, intelligent girl be single? 

I love your love!  So pls comment! Smartphones have made typing easier. Come on,  speak your mind now!

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2 comments:

  1. Thoughtfully penned, seems bit sarcastic imo. Keep the spirit alive ;) ⓡⓐⓗⓘⓛ

    ReplyDelete
  2. Haha. ..yes, sarcastic it is. Thank god someone understood sarcasm. Lol. Actually there was one friend who thought I was serious.

    Well, it's a look at the ironical paradox of ironies we live in.

    Being 25 and single is a crime. Not that having a boyfriend is any less a crime. If not from the same cast and a happening family.

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